


5 Times Yuri Almost Walked In On Victor and Yuuri and 1 Time His Luck Ran Out

by heartsdesire456



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Comedy, Dramatic Teenagers, Future Fic, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Post-Canon, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 02:02:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10844196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: In which Victor and YuuriNever. Stop. Doin' It.and Yuri's luck really sucks.





	5 Times Yuri Almost Walked In On Victor and Yuuri and 1 Time His Luck Ran Out

**Author's Note:**

> One of my favorite headcanons is that Victor and Yuuri are really sexually compatible and basically have _ridiculous_ amounts of sex once they work their shit out, like to the point where you can barely leave them alone in a room together without them getting horny, and I thought, 'oh man, so many unlucky people would walk in on them'...
> 
> And I decided to ruin poor Yurio's life by making it not be unlucky PEOPLE. Just an unlucky him.

In general, Yuri really liked himself and enjoyed being alive quite a lot. He was a fucking badass and that was _awesome_. He was a junior world champion, he would one day be the world champion in the senior division, he had awesome hair, his fashion sense was perfect, and he was the motherfucking Ice Tiger of Russia.

However, every once in a while, Yuri really, really wished someone would kill him and put him out of his misery, and the number one cause of that was not, in fact, JJ fucking Leroy (though he was a shithead and Yuri hated his guts). Oh no, the number one cause of his desire to end his life was Victor Nikiforov and Katsuki Yuuri. It wasn’t even that he didn’t like them. Yuri actually really liked Victor, he was kind of ditzy and adorable, like a stupid cat, and Yuuri, in spite of all the shit Yuri gave him, was actually a really hardworking skater and Yuri respected him for that. The problem was more related to them being a couple. 

More plainly, the problem was that they _Never. Stopped. Fucking_.

~

1\. 

Yakov asked Yuri to go find Victor and Katsuki Yuuri since they both hadn’t shown up for press yet since the medals ceremony, and Yuri was willing to take any excuse to get away from the interviews before the actual press conference. He was really getting tired of interviews. It was his least favorite part of being a figure skater. He didn’t give two shits about attention, but it was part of winning, and he’d deal with it as long as he got more gold medals, like the one around his neck right now. 

“Yuri!” Yuri turned and smiled when he saw Otabek jogging after him. Otabek caught up with him and nodded to him as they started walking side by side. “Congratulations. You did really well,” he said, and Yuri beamed.

“Thank you,” he said, then frowned. “Sorry that the judges over-scored that shithead Canadian fuck. I swear to God, it had to be rigged. There’s no fucking way you should have finished below that train wreck of a free program. It was a pity-bronze,” he said and Otabek grunted and shrugged.

“I won bronze at Worlds, so I know I can beat him even when he skates well. I’ll beat him at Four Continents,” he said nonchalantly, and Yuri smirked, because he liked that attitude. “Can you believe Katsuki’s free score, though?” Otabek asked, whistling. “That was incredible.”

Yuri nodded, frowning again. “I’m gonna have to really work hard to beat him at Worlds,” he said honestly. “That fat ass didn’t have but one quad six months ago, and he sucked at it. Who knew all it took was extreme thirst for your coach to turn you into a goddamn skating machine,” he said and Otabek actually snorted. “I’m serious!”

“Yeah, I know you are,” Otabek said, then smirked, glancing at him sideways. “I also heard you conspiring with Giacometti that if you could beat him, he might not retire,” he said and Yuri flushed. Otabek grinned. “Admit it, you like him.”

Yuri made a face and whined. “Don’t tell anybody that!” He let his head flop back. “It’s just that he’s so fucking _good_ ,” he hissed. “Who the fuck would I be if I didn’t force his fat ass to keep skating?! There’s no goddamn reason for someone capable of what he’s capable of to give up! Fuck that, if Victor’s old ass can come back, he can continue,” he said. 

Otabek just smiled ahead. “So, where are you headed? Don’t you have the press conference?”

“I’ve got to find Victor and Yuuri,” he explained as they got to the elevator and he pressed the button. “Yakov thinks Yuuri probably went off to cry in their room over all this shit, and Yakov needs Victor to do press now that it’s come out he’s returning.”

Otabek opened his mouth to answer, but the elevator doors opening cut him off. Yuri and Otabek both looked ahead at the sound of a zipper, only for Yuri’s eyes to widen and his jaw drop at the sight in front of him.

Victor and Yuuri were sucking face while Victor’s hands _zipped Yuuri’s costume back up_ over his back. Yuri might be fifteen, but it didn’t take a genius to recognize that Victor’s tie and belt were on the floor of the elevator, both of them had insane sex hair, and they were both flushed and sweaty, and those things all together could only mean one thing.

“DID YOU TWO JUST FUCK IN THE ELEVATOR?!” Yuri spluttered, horrified at the thought.

Yuuri yelped and spun around, but Victor just slid his arms around his middle and smirked as he rested his chin on Yuuri’s shoulder. “What’s it to you?” he asked smugly, and the way Yuuri started choking out excuses all the while smacking Victor repeatedly in the arm answered the question Victor half-ass avoided. 

Yuri turned on his heel, grabbing a handful of Otabek’s costume, and walked away, contemplating whether or not he could talk Otabek into buying him an entire bottle of the nearest form of alcohol so he could erase this memory forever.

 

2\. 

Victor and Yuuri got fucking _married_ in Japan. Yuri kept looking at them in the row ahead of him and Yakov, who was asleep beside him, and he couldn’t believe that shit. He went with them to Japan after Russian Nationals because the Katsuki family invited him to stay for a week to celebrate Victor’s birthday, which took place right after Japanese Nationals, and when Katsudon won, Victor decided to _get married_. They had called up Yakov, Phichit Chulanont, and Christophe Giacometti, flown them all to Japan, and then thrown a wedding. Just like that.

Now, they were _fucking married_. 

Yuri couldn’t believe they got married so fast and now, in the middle of the season, Yuuri was moving to Russia to train at their rink. Yakov had okayed it all and now they were all headed back to Russia together. Married figure skaters were really rare, because who the fuck had time for _marriage_ while competing? And now Victor and Yuuri were married.

Currently, Yakov was asleep at his side, and Yuri had accidentally packed his headphones, so even looking at his phone he couldn’t ignore the way Victor and Yuuri were whispering and giggling together. He didn’t have to hear the words they said to know they were flirting. Every time Victor whined, “Yuuuuriiiiii!” Yuri wanted to reach around the seat and choke him. 

It was as he was playing a game on his phone that he heard what suspiciously sounded like a _moan_ and glanced up to see the tops of the heads in front of him leaned together. He heard rustling and the suspicious sound of kissing and his eyes narrowed. There was no way they were actually making out on the _plane_. He heard a smacking sound that confirmed that yes, they were fucking making out. He heard a disgustingly wet kissing noise and really wanted to throw his phone at the top of that silver head in front of him, but he didn’t want to hurt his phone. 

It was when Victor _whimpered_ that Yuri decided he’d had enough and got ready to start kicking the back of their seats, only to have Yuuri stand up. He relaxed some, putting his foot back down and watched as Yuuri shuffled past Victor and headed up the aisle towards the bathroom. 

Now that he didn’t have to listen to them making out, he settled down and looked back down at his phone, only to have Victor stand up. Yuri looked up and frowned, only to see Victor heading up the aisle as well. He had just been complaining about them making out, but he actually sort of hoped Yuuri wasn’t sick. Although, if he threw up they wouldn’t make out again, he figured.

Yuuri nor Victor came back for nearly fifteen minutes and he started to worry slightly. He looked over at Yakov and elbowed him to wake him up, pretending it was turbulence when Yakov grunted and looked at him suspiciously. Yuri was about to tell him he was gonna go check on them when Victor came from around the curtain. Yuri’s eyes widened in horror when he saw the state of Victor’s hair and realized Victor’s shirt was buttoned up wrong. 

“Oh my God, they just fucked in the bathroom!” Yuri hissed under his breath to Yakov, and Yakov sat up straighter and saw Victor on his way back to his seat and his eyes widened angrily. When Victor got to his seat and sat down, he saw Yuuri come out of the curtains looking just as disheveled and bright red, confirming his fear.

The one thing to sooth his disgust was the knowledge that Yakov was going to tear Victor a new one when they got off the plane for risking getting caught fucking in a goddamn airplane bathroom.

 

3\. 

It pissed Yuri off to no end that Lilia was _impressed_ by Yuuri’s ballet training, and she let him use the dance studio at the rink whenever he wanted. Yuri had been training ballet under _Russian training_ his entire fucking life, and of course, Yuuri was some sort of goddamn ballet savant. 

Yuri honestly didn’t know how the hell Yuuri seemed to get fat just glancing at food, because he clearly was in better shape than any other goddamn person in the history of life if he was able to impress _Lilia_ with his ballet skills. He kind of really feared what would happen if Yuuri was able to get totally thin, because that sounded like the perfect recipe for a quad axel. 

However, Yuuri, for all he annoyed Yuri at being so damn good at fucking everything, was fun to train with. Yuri had to admit that the main reason he got so annoyed with Yuuri was because he was so good and doubted himself, and Yuri thought that was stupid. If he was Yuuri, he would have a bigger ego than that Canadian shithead. Yuri was better, sure, but Yuuri worked harder than anybody, so he was close. When they trained together, though, Yuuri wasn’t quite so shitty about doubting himself, because Yuri didn’t give into his shit and just yelled at him for complaining instead of working. 

Lilia was busy so she told him he could train with Yuuri for the day, and though it wasn’t the same as actually getting training from his ballet teacher, having fun with Yuuri would be a good way to compensate for the lost time. Yuuri wasn’t expecting him, so hopefully Yuri could catch him doing some embarrassing shit like staring at his ass in the mirror.

(Yuri gave him crap for being a fat fuck, but he recognized deep down that Yuuri was kind of fat in a ‘hot girl’ way. Yuri didn’t think he was hot, because that was gross, but he could understand what he must look like to other people that liked a curvy body, and Yuuri seemed to really obsess over whether his ass was too big sometimes even though Yuri could tell he was the only one that thought that was a bad thing.)

When he got to the rink, he spotted Mila and called out to her. “Hey, Hag! Where’s Yuuri?” he asked.

She skated over to the barrier and shook her head. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him or Victor in a while. They were here earlier at the gym, but that’s all I know.” He thanked her and watched her skate away while he looked around, wondering where they might be. 

He decided to go to the studio and see if perhaps Yuuri was already there. He hoped so, because he wanted to get some training in before his ice time with Yakov in the afternoon, and he would be really bummed if he had to train alone. 

When he got to the studio, however, he really, really, _really_ would have preferred ending up training alone, because the minute he opened the door to the studio, the first thing he saw was Victor putting his shirt back on while Yuuri cleaned a suspiciously shaped smudgy mark on the mirror at the front of the room that vaguely looked like the outline of a person’s torso. 

“I swear to God, if you two just fucked in the ballet studio, I’m telling Lilia you defiled her space,” he said in a tight, horrified voice.

Yuuri spun around and tried to cover the weird mark on the glass with his body as he cried “YURIO HI WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” and that pretty much confirmed Yuri’s fears. 

“Oh. My. _God_ ,” he spluttered, turning on his heel. “Holy fuck, I’m going to watch while LILIA MURDERS YOU!” he shouted on his way out. “You gross old bastards!” 

He was right. Lilia flipped out. Yakov had to stop her from trying to scalp Victor with a skate. 

Annoyingly, she forgave Yuuri, like he wasn’t the one that definitely instigated that nasty shit. 

 

4\. 

Yuri was excited when Victor and Yuuri took him with them to Four Continents. He had never gone to a competition he wasn’t skating at, so he was going to have so much fun watching the competition as just a spectator, even though Victor had gotten him a pass to be backstage with them as part of Yuuri’s ‘training staff’. He had to carry their shit to make it seem legit, but that was okay, he just wanted to get to experience a skating event as someone who wasn’t an athlete that was competing. 

Yuri was also super excited to see Otabek again. They had so much fun last November that they kept in touch and it was be nice to see him in person again. It was less nice to see JJ again. 

“I just hate him,” he complained and Otabek patted his back. “He’s so obnoxious,” he said, and then gave Otabek a pointed look. “He has a _tribal tramp stamp_ ,” he stressed.

Otabek laughed, which was always a surprise treat. He had a nice laugh. “It’s alright. At least you don’t have to skate against him today,” Otabek said. “Every time he scores higher than me, I want to shave his head,” he confessed and Yuri smirked. He enjoyed knowing he wasn’t the only one who had that feeling.

“If he beats you and Yuuri, I vote we get that Minami kid to go all Tonya Harding on him,” Yuri suggested. “That kid _loves_ Yuuri. He’d do it for the honor or some shit,” he said and Otabek snorted.

“Pretty sure half the skaters our age would do the same,” he said. “The American, Ji Guang Hong, that selfie addict, they all _love_ Yuuri, and they know they can’t beat JJ, so they would probably all volunteer to stop him.” Otabek looked around. “Speaking of, where _is_ Yuuri?”

Yuri and Otabek were in the warmup area, where all the other skaters were after they had finished getting dressed and left the dressing room. Yuri looked around and saw that everybody for the final skating group was accounted for and all those who had already skated had gone from the area, so he didn’t know where Yuuri and Victor could be. “I don’t know,” he said, frowning. “I hope he’s not freaking out,” he said, and Otabek shrugged at him. “I better go check the locker room.”

Otabek nodded. “I would come with you, but my coach is already annoyed at me chatting while stretching,” he said, nodding to his coach, who was watching them closely.

Yuri nodded and stood up. “I’ll go check on Yuuri. Make sure he’s okay,” he said, leaving Otabek so he could head to the locker room. As Yuri turned the corner to the locker room, he worried that Piggy was having another breakdown, which was not good, since he needed him to beat JJ. He _really_ couldn’t handle JJ winning Four Continents, so he needed Yuuri at top shape to kick his ass. 

Yuri reached out for the door to the locker room just as it opened and Yuuri yelped in surprise as he almost ran into Yuri, and Yuri jumped back. “Oh my God, Yurio!” he squeaked, and Yuri huffed.

“Where have you been? Everybody’s looking for-“ He stopped as Victor stepped into the doorway behind Yuuri and Yuri suddenly realized – in sheer horror – that they were both flushed and sweaty. “You,” he finished with narrowed eyes. “You sick bastards,” he gritted out, and Yuuri blushed deeper.

“I- we- no it’s not- you-“

Victor chuckled in a carefree manner. “Yuuri was very stressed out, I’m just helping my skater relax,” he said with a small smirk, and Yuri gritted his teeth in disgust.

“You’re sick. Both of you. You’re disgusting, sick, horrible freaks.” He turned on his heel, his own cheeks turning red at the horror. “Fuck you both, I’m going back to talk to Beka, you nasty, gross, disgusting, sick bastards!”

When he returned to Otabek, he raised an eyebrow at Yuri’s face but he refused to comment, instead focusing really hard on ignoring the gross fucks that joined those warming up after _having sex_ in the locker room as stress relief. For the love of God, what freaks. 

 

5\. 

There was a limit to what Yuri could handle when it came to dealing with his fans, and _an hour_ of posing for photos and signing autographs was really pushing it. He was exhausted, he wanted to bathe in had sanitizer, and he lost count of how many teen girls snuck grabs of his ass. 

Yuri felt exhausted, germy, and pretty damn violated if anybody wanted the honest truth. He was looking forward to taking a shower, then a nap, and then going out later that night to celebrate Otabek’s bronze medal. Yuri hadn’t made it onto the podium at Worlds, and that really pissed him off, but that was an unfortunate side effect of fucking _food poisoning_ on the day of the short program.

Thankfully, JJ ate the breakfast at the hotel, too, so he also fucked up bad and failed to make it onto the podium. 

In the end, it was Yuuri who won gold, Christophe Giacometti who won silver, Otabek who won bronze, barely edging out Victor in fourth. The only reason Victor didn’t do better was because, after the food poisoning that got _six_ skaters, he didn’t eat a single thing the entire day before the free skate for fear of getting sick, so he was weak as shit. He was a goddamn moron, Yuri was sure of it. Yakov had his _ass_ for that shit, too. 

Worst of all, for the whole week Yuri and Victor had to share a room. Yakov refused to let Victor room with Yuuri like he usually did, since he was his skater, not just Yuuri’s coach for this event, and Yakov put his skaters all together. Yuuri was sharing a room with that Minami kid from his own country instead. Yuri had to deal with Victor whining and complaining about how he couldn’t sleep without his husband and blah blah blah. It was the _worst_.

When Yuri finally got back to the hotel room, he whined as he tried to make the key card work. When it finally went green, he walked in and exhaled as he threw his stuff on the floor and headed across the room with the intention of face planting onto his bed, only to stop when he got to his bed. 

It was suspiciously disheveled. 

“Victor?!” he called towards the closed bathroom door where the shower was running. “What the fuck did you do to my bed?” 

The door opened and _Yuuri_ walked out wearing some of Victor’s pajamas, and suddenly Yuri’s eyes widened in horror as he looked at Yuuri and then at his bed. “Yurio!” he said, tittering uncomfortably. “That- that’s your bed?”

Yuri narrowed his eyes at him. “ _You_ ,” he gritted out and Yuuri flushed and bowed his head.

“You- um- you probably shouldn’t- uh-”

“You fucked in my bed,” he accused, and Yuuri avoided his gaze. “ _You and Victor fucked in my bed?!_ ” he demanded. “HOLY FUCK!” he shouted, stomping over to grab his jacket again. “I AM GOING TO FUCKING SET THIS ENTIRE HOTEL ON FIRE!” he cried as he stomped out of the room again. He was beyond tired, he was beyond pissed, and he literally could not handle this shit right now. 

“Yurio, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know-“

“I am going to Otabek’s room and I’m never coming back!” he spat on his way past Yuuri.

“We just missed-“

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP HAVING SEX ANY TIME YOU’RE ALONE IN A ROOM TOGETHER!” he shouted on his way out the door, not even caring who might hear it.

 

+1. 

At some point, Yuri knew it was going to happen. From the first time he and Otabek caught them getting re-dressed in the elevator, he just _knew_ it was going to happen. There were so many times he came close to actually witnessing Victor and Yuuri fucking, and he knew one day his luck would run out.

He just didn’t expect it to be while he was returning their dog after he and a visiting Otabek took Makkachin for a walk.

“I’ll just wait here,” Otabek said, nodding to where his bike was parked in front of Victor’s building. “You can just drop him off then we can go,” he said, and Yuri blushed a bit. 

Otabek was taking him on a date. Neither of them had said it in so many words, but it was definitely a date. Yuri wasn’t crazy, he knew what it meant when someone asked you out to dinner and made plans to go out after dinner on a walk to sight-see together. He and Otabek had talked briefly about how they sort of had feelings for one another, and they weren’t going to jump into a relationship, because they had only even been friends for about eight months, and Otabek would be nineteen in a few months and Yuri had just turned sixteen a few months ago, and they lived so far apart, and they both had no experience at all in the long-distance thing (or the dating at all thing on Yuri’s part).

But Otabek liked him and asked him out to dinner, and Yuri was really excited. He was nervous but very happy. He _really_ liked Otabek and he wanted to see where all this could go in the future. 

“Okay,” he said, tugging at Makkachin’s leash, “Let’s get you back to your dumb humans,” he said, smiling at the dog as he loped along towards his building, clearly knowing he was almost home. 

Yuuri was still lost in the clouds, daydreaming about going on a date for the first time ever, when he got up to Victor and Yuuri’s apartment. Because of his distraction, he didn’t notice the way Makkachin didn’t want to go further than the living room as he went to find Victor or Yuuri. He heard a cabinet slam so he headed towards the kitchen, still wondering whether or not Otabek might _kiss_ him later. When he got closer, he vaguely heard Yuuri saying Victor’s name so he walked right into the kitchen without hesitation. “Makkachin is returned, but I have a question-“

“AHH!”

“YURIO!”

“SHIT- OW!” 

Yuri looked up just in time to see Yuuri and Victor on the opposite side of the island from him, both of them panting and blushing, and for a split second he was very confused at why they had both been startled when he came in, but then he took note of their position, Victor leaning on the counter and Yuuri standing behind him, looking over his shoulder, and suddenly his eyes widened with horror. 

“Please, for the love of all things holy, tell me you’re both wearing pants,” he begged, eyes locked on the level of their faces for fear that if he looked down, even with the countertop in the way, he might see evidence of something entirely unclothed going on from the waist down. 

Neither Victor nor Yuuri spoke, looking at each other instead, and Yuri’s eyes – without his permission at all – flickered down and he saw, with horror, that they were definitely both naked from the waist down. He was lucky enough he couldn’t _see anything_ , but he could see both their shirts ending in bare skin around the hip level, and that was enough to confirm his worst fear. 

“I- I-“ Yuri stuttered, trying to look anywhere but at their bare skin but unable to look away. Worst yet, Yuuri shifted to duck behind Victor some and _Victor shivered_. “Oh my _God_!” Yuri squeaked when he realized Yuuri was _still inside of Victor_. “OH my GOD!” he cried, and finally his legs obeyed and let him turn to run. “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY?!” he screamed as he rushed out of the apartment. He didn’t even bother saying goodbye to Makkachin. 

He didn’t take the elevator, he sprinted down the stairs, jumping steps the whole way, and when he sprinted through the lobby and out of the building, he didn’t stop until he flew into Otabek, who barely managed to stay upright and not fall over, and clung to him as he fought waves of nausea. 

“Yura? Yura?!” he asked worriedly, and Yuri just panted and tried not to actually cry from the horror. 

“I- I’ve seen things no person should ever witness,” Yuri whispered in shock.

“Yuri, what is it? What happened?” Otabek asked, pushing Yuri away so he could look at him. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Yuri finally sucked in a breath, squared his shoulders, lifted his head, and steeled himself against his emotions, sucking it up like an adult, not a child. He looked into Otabek’s eyes and tried to show those ‘eyes of a soldier’ Otabek mentioned once. “Beka,” he said plainly. “You really, _really_ don’t want to know.”

Otabek frowned, but slowly nodded. “Okay, if you say so-“

“Just trust me on this,” Yuri said, staring into the distance.

The one good thing of all of it, Yuri thought, was that at least he had seen the worst thing he would ever see in his whole life at sixteen, so the rest of his life would be smooth sailing from here.


End file.
